=> You have an error in your SQL syntax; check the manual that corresponds to your MySQL server version for the right syntax to use near 'ORDER by term_taxonomy_id' at line 1
Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in /home/techchic/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-mediatagger/mediatagger-lib.php on line 1331
MYSQL query returned error executing query "SELECT term_taxonomy_id FROM wp_term_relationships_img AS img WHERE img.object_id = ORDER by term_taxonomy_id" :
=> You have an error in your SQL syntax; check the manual that corresponds to your MySQL server version for the right syntax to use near 'ORDER by term_taxonomy_id' at line 1
Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in /home/techchic/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-mediatagger/mediatagger-lib.php on line 1331
I read on Twitter, Facebook, and blogs about how much others want and need to lose weight. I see it in magazines, on TV, and in the store. Losing weight is one of the hardest things to do. My DH recently lost 60 lbs. Bringing him to Southeast Texas where we eat lots of Creole and soul foods did not help him. He was already large and the good food added another 20-25 lbs.
I am fighting a very different struggle. I am underweight and cannot gain. I am not being conceited. I understand that others strive to be my size, but it is not healthy. I face possible medical issues like osteoporosis for being small like this. I want to share my struggle. I want to put it out there just like others do to face it and do something about it. But I am lost in finding my way. I want to first tell you my story.
At 15 when I became pregnant I was 115 lbs. In school I was very active. I ran track and played basketball. I walked miles per day and thought nothing of it. My body was very muscular. When I gave birth to Lakendra 16 years ago, I weighed in at 130 lbs. I lost 26 lb within 3 days of having her. I felt sick. I felt like I had a hole in my stomach. Even at 16 I was worried about being underweight and mentioned it to my track coach. My coach told me that she would get me back into the weight room and help me build my muscle weight back. I gained only 5 lbs. Throughout the pregnancies of my other 3 kids the highest weight I reached was 135 lb, losing the weight within a week of giving birth. You may call that lucky, but it was unhealthy. My average weight when not pregnant was between 106-111 lbs. I even went to a doctor about my weight. They ran lots of tests and told me I wan anemic. That’s all anemic. I was prescribed birth control pills and the most I ever gained was 3 lbs in a year. I hated my body.
About 2 years ago I actually was able to gain some weight. I am not sure how I did it, but it was fast. I gained 25 lbs in 3 months. I did not try. I weighed between 130-135 lbs. I was happy. I actually did not feel sick all of the time. I liked my body image. I could actually buy clothes from any store. When I was small the stores never carried my size. I could never find anything to fit.
Now, again I am losing the weight. I am at 118lbs right now. I know this is an issue. When I was getting dressed the other day my DH walked in and I actually told him not to look at me. I could not stand for him to see that I had lost the weight I had gained. I hate being like this and it brings me to tears.
I want to change this. I am at my wits end figuring it out. I try to eat, but frankly, eating is not fun to me. It does not bring me joy. I get tired of it real fast. Don’t get me wrong, I love good food. But if I don’t think about eating I could go a day forgetting to eat anything. Let me put this out there. I do not have an eating disorder. I do not binge; I do not make myself sick. I do not think my body is fat. I am not anorexic.
Just a note to others, it is not ok to joke with someone who is underweight. More times than I can count, people have comments to me that I look anorexic. They tell me I just need to eat or that they could fatten me up. It is not that easy. AND why would you tell me I look anorexic, I don’t go around telling others they look fat. It is rude and not a joke. Just because someone is skinny does not mean they have tried to be. I need support to begin healthy eating habits to get to and maintain a healthy weight. Please support me.
I understand where you’re coming from. I was there a few years ago, and I faced more hurtful comments than when I was overweight as teenager. I believe stress kept my weight down a few years ago though.
My mother is the same way with her weight. However, drinking Ensure or Boost helps out a great deal.
Thanks for stopping by. You know, I have tried the ensure and boost. The biggest issue is that I have not struggled with this for a year or 2. It has been my entire life.
Jessica,
I can really relate only im overweight.Its so hard to be satisfied with our bodies as well as change them.I think you look GOOD but if its not healthy then its not good.Maybe you should talk with your dr,he could help with this im sure.But please dont feel ashamed around dh because he will love you no matter what.Good luck and remember you are beautiful!
Thanks,shannon
shannpf1977@yahoo.com
There needs to be a balance. All the media, no matter how they talk about the too thin, always go back to promoting that being super thin is the ideal. I am plus size, and it seems that that is last acceptable group to hate on. IT sucks. I’m not unhealthy, but according to that dumb ass BMI chart I should be. I am almost 6 ft tall and it says my healthy weight is 10 pounds over where you feel your best. If I ever got down to that weight, I would be anorexic and sickly.
I’m sorry you have such issues with your weight. We should all try to be HEALTHY. That is what should be promoted, not fitting some whacked out designer’s vision of the perfect body.
There are so many girls and women with self-esteem issues because of what society tells them they need to look like in order to be loved. It’s horrible. NO ONE should have to struggle with issues like this. As bad as you feel about not being to keep a healthy weight is as bad as another woman feels for not being able to be the weight you are right now. It’s so screwed up!
Is it possible you have some metabolic issues that are making it so hard to keep any weight on? Try healthy eating and keeping a food journal. Maybe it will help.
I wish you luck, my friend. And I think you are beautiful just the way you are. But YOU need to be able to be happy with yourself, no matter what any one says. And NO it is not OK to tell someone they look anorexic just the same as it’s not OK to tell a plus size woman that she is fat or obese. We all want to e healthy and accepted for who we are, not what we look like.
.-= Shan @ Last Shreds Of Sanity´s last blog ..Happy St. Patrick’s Day 2010 =-.
Thanks for sharing your struggle. You’re right, society does focus on people who are trying to lose weight. A healthy weight is important for all of us. Good luck finding your way to what is right for you.
PS: I think those protein shakes are a great idea.
.-= Katrina´s last blog ..Stay at the Staybridge Suites Dallas Addison Hotel =-.
I love that you’re putting it out there that it’s not ok to call a thin person “anorexic.” That’s insulting to anyone dealing with an eating disorder!
On a separate note, have you tried to eat several small meals throughout the day? High carb AND high-protein? Have you done a food journal to track what you’re eating and make sure you’re getting enough calories? Just a few thoughts!
.-= marybeth @ http://www.babygoodbuys.com´s last blog ..Luvs Jumbo Packs for $3.39, Free Shipping! =-.
The food journal seems like a good idea. It is probably something I will be starting. Then I could maybe remember to eat at certain times.
I will always think you are the most beautiful woman in the world
Just wanted you to know that!
Also, I think it’s great that you shared this with your blog readers. I knew you’d only get the best supportive comments. These ladies know how wonderful you are inside and out!
Love you sis!
Thank you for thinking I am beautiful, sis. You have no clue how much I struggle with that word. You know how I grew up. My self esteem suffers from our childhood.
I understand what it is like to want to gain weight.
During my teens I was often asked if I was anorexic or bulimic. I have always had a big appetite but at 5’2 my highest weight before kids was probably 100 lbs.
During most of high school I weighted around 90 lbs and hated being so skinny.
Now that I am approaching 40 I am finally keeping some weight on although like Erin I would prefer it to be toned than flabby. People still tell me I am tiny and try to get me to eat even when I don’t want to.
You definately want to be eating more protein and weight training not only to gain muscle but also to help build and maintain bone density. Weight training has been shown to be the best exercise to build bone density.
I would measure your inches and use that as a guide for your size and what you are happy with. You look good in your pictures and if your DH is happy with how you look then enjoy it.
Also remember that as you gain muscle your bodys’ daily calorie consumption will increase due to additional muscle.
I wish you all the best as you work to achieve your goals.
.-= Rebecca´s last blog ..Recruiting MORE People FASTER =-.
I never thought about gaining muscle to increase bone density. This is something I will prob start incorperating. My hubby is ultra supportive in me, what I look like, and anything I decide to do. I dont know my measurements right now. All I know is in the last few months I have went from a size 9 to a size 5. I dont like it.
Rebecca has a great point! My husband is always telling me I am building bone density. LOL! I forgot to mention that.
.-= Erin´s last blog ..My Emmy Baby: Star Wars Personalized Tees (and More) #Win =-.
I used to always get comments on my site. I think people were more thrown by what I weighed than what I looked like. This time last year I was 106 pounds and 5’6″. When I went to a body building competition I was SO impressed with the women. I decided to work out and this is what I learned. Working out will not make you gain weight, since all it does is breakdown muscle. You need to eat A LOT of protein to help it rebuild muscle. Then you gain weight without adding fat. I think your pictures look fine and people are stuck on the number that you weigh. But it’s just a number. Are you uncomfortable with the number or yourself physically? And what is your goal?
I was tired of being flabby/skinny so I wanted to be fit/lean. At first I actually lost weight at the gym … but maybe after 9 months of working out and eating my weight went up – and it’s truthfully muscle. But people seem more comfortable to hear I am 119 and not 106. But you know, my pants still fit the same. So … whatever. And people still comment, but most comments are positive nowadays.
Anyways, I agree that anorexic comments are spiteful and are not compliments. But what is your goal. You said you want to gain weight, but do you just want to see the number on the scale increase or do you want more lean muscle? Or a bigger booty. LOL. Who knows. I am positive there are ways to achieve your goals. I am going for the mean/lean look myself.
.-= Erin´s last blog ..My Emmy Baby: Star Wars Personalized Tees (and More) #Win =-.
I know I am uncomfortable with myself physically, and that is what brings me to the number. I think my goal is between 125-130. Or even a little more with the right muscle gain. I am 5ft 4in so I think that is a healthy weight. I hope my keeping documentation of my journey it will help me.
I reread your captions – I see what you want now. LOL. Why not try a protein shake (supplement to meals, not replacement) and see how that works?
Good luck!
.-= Erin´s last blog ..My Emmy Baby: Star Wars Personalized Tees (and More) #Win =-.
How brave of you to share this, Jessica! Good for you….and the supportive comments so far are wonderful. I have always been on the opposite end. I have to work really hard to LOSE weight. Ugh! I think it is so easy to judge, either way, about others, but sometimes you just don’t know their situation, truly. It is a fine balance, too, because although you struggle to lose weight, you still have to watch what you eat. I have this concern for a famiy member. She is super thin(similar to your situation) so sometimes she uses it as an excuse to eat whatever she wants. I warn her about hight cholesterol and other health concerns, but she does what she wants. (oh well)
What about eating more healthy carbs for you? And, the big thing is to do good weight bearing excercises to keep your bones strong(and maybe build more muscle in the process)-and I am sure you know that muscle weighs more than fat!
Again, I will say good for you to write this! Must feel like a weight has been lifted(hopefully a little, at least)from your shoulders!-not too much, though….you need SOME of that weight!
.-= Cathy´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – Cliffs of Moher – Ireland =-.
My eating habits are almost non-existent. But when I do eat it is usually super healthy. I don’t like to eat much meat but love salads, fruits, dairy and things like that. Maybe I should look up what the healthy carbs are. When I find them I might even write a post about them.
While I have the opposite issue, I can appreciate how difficult your struggle must be. And as awful as it is to be called fat, I think being called anorexic would be worse. I wish you luck in your battle to get back to healthy.
.-= amber´s last blog ..A Visit With A Little Green Monster. =-.
I know exactly where you are coming from. I do.
I was SUPER skinny growing up. (100 lbs soaking wet if I was lucky) When I was in high school, I tried desperately to gain weight. I took all kinds of weight gain pills, ate what people told me to eat to GAIN. I tried everything but nothing worked.
I got tired of hearing “You are so skinny.” “Do you eat?”
My boyfriend’s mom thought I was anorexic. Everyone laughed when I said I was trying to GAIN. They thought I was crazy. I hated the way I looked but there was nothing I could do. I gained 60 lbs with my first baby and thought for sure that I would keep it….NOPE!
I gained 50 lbs with my second and thought OK, I am older now so surely I can keep some of this weight. NAH!
3rd pregnancy came and totally ROCKED my world in more ways that one….she still continues doing this (LOL).
I gained right at 60 lbs and managed to keep 20 of those pounds.
5 years after my 3rd kid, I am up to 124. I am happy with my weight. I just wish it was evenly distributed though! ROFL
I could use some more on top and less on bottom. But I can finally say “It wiggles when I walk!”
And now I have “Wiggle it– just a little bit” stuck in my head….
.-= Linda @ My Trendy Tykes´s last blog ..One of those top ten lists . . . =-.
Thanks for giving me a song for the day! LOL
I completely understand where you’re coming from! I’ve been told more than once that I look anorexic. It’s rude and it hurts. I’m the same way and have tried to gain weight with no success. I’ve decided to just be happy that I can eat whatever I want without worrying about it and try to not let the comments from other people bother me.
.-= hairstyles for girls´s last blog ..A Favor… =-.
I wish I could be like you. But I dont like my image so when others make comments they hurt 10 times more. I need to gain the strength.
Jessica I am so glad that you put this out there! All through high school (and up until I got pregnant with my oldest daughter) I had the same problem. I weighed 95 lbs for years and just could not gain weight. I got so tired of hearing my “friends” accusing me of being bulimic or aneroxic that hearing it just made me feel even worse about myself.
Now I’m having similar problems with my middle daughter, she is just so thin and the doctors seem to think it’s alright even though I know it is not. She is on the same path I was on when I was younger and my heart breaks knowing the things she will have to put up with from her peers as a result of her weight.
.-= Allison ´s last blog ..Do Men EVER Listen? =-.
My younger daughter is super tiny too. But she is turning 13 tomorrow and is not even 5ft tall. So her being so skinny doesn’t seem so bad. It is really hurtful for others to make comments without thinking about how they will effect others. I would never go around and say something to others that was rude. Even if I were anorexic why would someone say that to me. Do they think they are helping up?
Awww Jessica I’m sorry that you’re going through this. So many people don’t understand that it’s not just people who are overweight who struggle. Their are many people out there who simply can’t gain weight. No matter what they do. When I first met my husband he was 6’4 and 145 lbs. He to was super active during his teens and 20′s. The doctors always just told him that he had a high metabolism and that he should feel lucky. But he hated himself. Everyone was always telling him that he needed to eat. He has managed to gain weight now however not in a healthy way. He sits on his butt all day and plays video games. I will help and support you in any way that I can. And in return maybe you can help support me in my weight loss. I’m going to be posting about it later today. I want to be around for my kids as I’m sure you want to be around for yours. Good luck and I’ll be checking back in with you to see how it’s going.
.-= Kati´s last blog ..Charm Factory Review and Giveaway =-.
That sounds like a fair trade. Supporting each other! I always tell my hubby that I want him healthy because I want to see our 50th wedding anniversary. Now I am concerned about myself and being healthy.
Jess, my mother has the same issue ~ she cannot gain weight, so I completely understand your problem. Even now at 57, she still struggles but she has accepted that she will always be small, so she does her best to stay healthy. She eats several small meals a day, takes a multivitamin and keeps up on her calcium (even though she does have osteoporosis). You are correct though, the same amount of sympathy and understanding should be extended to women who want to gain weight as those who want to lose it. *hugs*
.-= Daenel´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
I wish I could eat several meals a day. I can go a day or so without eating. Not because I want to. But because I dont think about it. I am going to try to keep a journal. I hope that will help remind me.
Actually, that’s how my mom started. She would set a timer for every 3 or 4 hrs and just eat a little something ~ celery with raisins, yogurt, trail mix, etc. It all adds up and it keeps your strength up too. Good luck and hang in there.
.-= Daenel´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.